When Life Isn’t Going As Planned

lounging on couch with golden retriever and wine, girls night in

Changing things up today a bit here on the blog…today’s post isn’t about those “must have boots for fall” or a major sale… but a little more of a “life thoughts” post. You guys might not know this from following my blog and on Instagram, but I’ve been in a major creative rut here lately– feeling uninspired, bored, etc. More than that, I just feel as if I’ve been in a life rut. Ugh. Ya feel me?

But why? I honestly feel like every year as I approach my birthday I get in a little bit of panic. Like I am once again turning the page on another year, yet I feel like I am so far away from so many things I want to/feel like I should be experiencing and accomplished by this time. Career goals, personal goals, relationships (still a single dog-mom), and just all around life experiences. While I know I am often playing the ‘comparison game’ when it comes to all this (we ALL do it– thats a topic and a post for another time. PS- comparison is literally like a death sentence to your ego. Sigh.), it’s still hard not to feel “meh” at times and that we are behind or not living up to our fullest potential in life. I guess that is one of my biggest fears in life, unmet potential. Which is why it drives me crazy when I am feeling in a “life rut”… I feel like we all set goals and expectations for ourselves and almost get in a panic when things are not on the road map we planned out in our heads.

In a way I have been kind of feeling like I am losing my ability to thrive– yet I am not taking charge and making changes in my habits or going outside my comfort zone. They say (idk who “they” is but I feel like whoever they are the know their shit) that magic and life truly happens when you step out of your comfort zone. So…. with that being said, if you can relate to this in any way- here are a few changes to make or things you can do (myself included) when you feel “stuck”.

  1. Be kind to yourself- Hell, life is hard… you are doing the best you can. Don’t beat yourself too much or be too hard on yourself. Which trust me I know, is easier said than done. Feeling hopeless, having self-doubt, and lacking confidence will do nothing but deter you from making any positive changes. While we need to be honest with ourselves about where we are at, we don’t want to beat ourselves up too much. Take some time, and think about the changes you want to make… but allow yourself to understand that we are never going to have it all together.
  2.  Continue to Look Forward – Sometimes you just have to push yourself out of the norm and your comfort zone and remember that life changes, priorities change, people change, and with that you have to move forward. I continuously remind myself that God has the most perfect plan for me, better than I could even fathom. Concentrating on becoming your best self and improving only shapes and helps prepare you for these plans. It’s easy to wallow in the past or overanalyze situations…. instead, focus on what you can control.
  3. Be Your Own Cheerleader- Sometimes you have to stray away from the “big picture” and focus more on the small victories. Kill it at your job one week? Workout more days during the week than you drank wine? Accomplished a small personal victory? Those small things are a big deal! We can be our biggest critic, but also our biggest motivator!
  4. Have a Mentor- Seriously, this has been HUGE for me in my twenties. Someone I can talk about life with who I truly admire and respect. I actually have a few people in my life who I consider mentors, which I am so fortunate for. Chances are, they have been through and experienced many of the same things you have and can provide some solid life advice. It’s nice to have a clear, unbiased perspective on things from someone who cares about you and who you trust.

How do you guys deal with being in a “rut” any advice? I will be honest, despite being a “fashion and lifestyle” blog, I find myself gravitating most towards personal posts so I am really hoping to incorporate some realness here on the blog. I would love any ideas you have or discussions to talk about moving forward. You all know I’m an open book!

28 comments so far.

28 responses to “When Life Isn’t Going As Planned”

  1. Gentry Adams says:

    Girl I can relate to everything in this post! I’m a “single dog-mom” too and I can so easily fall into the comparison trap! I think the most important thing is remembering what God’s unique plan for my life is and then living out that purpose and mission. The rest will fall into place 🙂

    • Lynlee says:

      Girl, you are SO right!!! So glad to know that you can relate– its refreshing to hear that I am not alone in feeling this way sometimes.

      Thank you so much!!

  2. Shannon says:

    I love this. I am 43 and have a 17 year old daughter and I think these are lifelong struggles. I think you have a great perspective. Also, on this side of comparison it’s wishing I still looked great in a bikini! (Your Cabo picture made me envious) So it literally never ends.
    Anyway…I love this personal post. It adds depth to your super cute self.

    • Lynlee says:

      Haha Shannon! I definitely agree– while our challenges and struggles may shift as we get older ( I sometimes wonder if looking back I will be like “what the heck was I thinking?” “why was I freaking out over that or worried?”) we all still face them. And you are the absolute sweetest! Thank you so much for reading and your kindness.

  3. Susannah says:

    I love the realness of this post, and I think it is such a breath of fresh air! I would love to see you post more “life” posts. This is something we all can relate to. I have found myself in a life funk recently, mostly due to comparison or being too hard on myself, as you said. You are incredible. Keep on shining!!

    • Lynlee says:

      Oh my gosh Susannah! Thank you so much for reading and for the encouragement. These posts are sometimes hard to share but I know there are SO many other people probably feeling whtat I am feeling as well– I just feel compelled to write about it. Its also nice to hear a response from others that they have felt the same feelings I have.

      Thank you for reading!

  4. Madison says:

    Love the blog!!! I just launched mine and your material is great and inspiring!

  5. Brooke says:

    So glad you are going to be incorporating more personal posts on your blog! I will be reading!!

    Xx
    Brooke

    • Lynlee says:

      Ahhhh thanks Brooke!!! Thanks so much for reading– I am excited to be incorporating more of this as well… just feels right!

  6. Jamie says:

    I used to feel like this every time a year of my degree came to an end.. like WHAT am I doing?? It all slowly comes full circle though, right! It’s hard to focus on the big picture sometime.. just gotta trust!

    • Lynlee says:

      Thanks Jamie– ahhhh so true and you are SO right. It’s his plan, not ours!
      Thank you so much for reading and your encouragement

  7. Linda says:

    Thanks for keep it real! I enjoy reading posts like these.

  8. Masha says:

    Thanks for sharing this! Some much needed advice for me right now ❤️

    White Silk, Black Leather
    http://www.whitesilkblackleather.com

  9. Kaitie says:

    Thank you for sharing! I’ve been following you for awhile now, just know your not alone and we all get in ruts sometimes. It’s funny how this is what I needed to hear today though! Thanks so much and keep it up-and whether you know it or not your impact is bigger than you think!

    KT

    • Lynlee says:

      Girl- no thank YOU for reading and following along. I figured I wasn’t alone in feeling this way and felt compelled to share! Thank you so much for your encouragement!

      xoxo

  10. Lynlee, I have followed your blog for a while and love your style. I am blogging now myself and watch about 20 stories daily, including yours. You remind me of my sister- lighthearted & fun, but can give serious advice when called or need to. Social media makes the comparison game a losing battle for sure. There is always someone with nicer clothes, a bigger following, or a newer outfit, or who already has kids. I always thought I would feel put-together once I got to the point in my life where my debt was paid, I married, and own a home. I feel just as, if not more behind now! What is it about this? Just remember you aren’t alone and the successful times are more sweet when we go through these periods. Also, I am pretty far along in the idealistic views- married, home, job, etc, but i look up to your blog, following, style, & realness. I would love to be where you are in your blogging career. Maybe we all start out with different plants but we will all retire with a jungle! Just keep watering the plants you have! Thanks so much for sharing and happy soon birthday!

    • Lynlee says:

      Audrey– oh my goodness! You seriously made me tear up in the middle of the coffee shop I am sitting at right now…not only for taking the time to follow me and read my post– but your advice and perspective that you shared. Seriously, thank you SO much you have no idea how much that means and how refreshing it is to hear from women who are all at different points in their lives. I guess we all have different struggles and challenges we face no matter where we are. You have made my morning! I also want to tell you what a fabulous job you are doing with your blog!! Its so crazy to be able to connect with a community of women like this through blogging! I love it!

      Again, thank you, thank you, thank you!

  11. Cassie haynes says:

    Love this post! Thank you for providing something different and being so honest. I love following your blog and all the exciting adventures you go on. I am a working new mom and I myself have been feeling in a funk lately, my career is in Real Estate and I am trying to keep my motivation. It’s hard! I appreciate you being so real about feeling this way and reminding us to compare ourselves to others and think “her life is perfect why can’t I be like her?!” When most of the time everyone is fighting the same battle.

  12. Kat says:

    Hey! I love this post. I have felt exactly the same way lately. I started a blog not too long ago and recently have felt so uninspired and stuck. It makes me feel relieve and so glad I’m not the only one! Anyway, I was just on Facebook and saw this article from The Everygirl. I’m not sure if you’ve seen it, but it made me think of you and this post, so I thought I’d share! http://theeverygirl.com/21-ways-to-feel-better-when-youre-stuck-in-a-rut/

  13. Jacqueline Veit says:

    Lynlee, really enjoyed reading your post! My family is mostly women and there is one thing we always remind each other to build each other up: Be Authentic. If you are your true authentic self, which you are, all things will fall into place and keep listening to your intuitions! I have followed your blog and instagram for months and love your authentic and fun personality that comes across in all your pictures and messages. I can certainly relate to being in a rut and what that feels like and also being a single dog mom for years – my dog is the joy of my life but was still lonely at times! I have finally found my person and now reflect on all the years I was single and I appreciate it so much more because I needed that time to grow and become a stable independent woman! I loved to hear your advice I think it is spot on! Also keep in mind that you are so fortunate to have such a successful blog that reaches out to so many women and inspires them, me included! I would love to get into blogging one day and really admire who you are and all that you do! You are one of my many inspirations to pursue my passion!!

  14. Laura says:

    I watch you everyday and feel envious about your perfect hair and all your vacations lol! I love that you opened up today. I don’t really read blogs I just follow along on Instagram but your story spoke to me tonight. My mom is very sick and one of my only support systems. I spent an hour on the phone crying to her tonight in my car about feeling like I was in a rut and all the depression that goes along with it. My puppy is about all that has made me smile lately! It helped a lot to see that someone who is so positive and upbeat like you still has the struggles I am facing daily as I approach the big 3-0! Sometimes I feel like it’s just be and I’m not normal I look forward to reading more :)!!

  15. Irina says:

    I just celebrated my birthday 2 days before your post and I am feeling exactly the same way. It’s been a struggle not to compare and not to judge myself that I am not where I envisioned. But I know that there is a bigger plan out there and I cannot control it, as much as I wish I could #typeAAnnie. Everything will work out <3 I've been trying to focus on being kind to myself (and others) and also utilizing the amazon women I can rely on as mentors. YOU are a beacon of shining light and I love your IG posts and personal posts like this one 🙂 Keep being you!

  16. Randi says:

    Screw anyone else’s timeline! I follow your IG and blog and I am very envious of your career and life! Definitely guilty of playing the comparison game myself. I could never do what you do on a daily basis but I wish I could! Be comfortable with the uncomfortable, especially with the timeline of life and what you think is “supposed to happen.” I’ve found that the best things come from going with the “flow” of life and accepting whatever comes to you!

    PS I am a fellow dog-mom myself. Find a man that shares your love for dogs with you 🙂

  17. Missy says:

    Wow!! this hits home for sure..I think we all have those days especially being bloggers but we just have to remember all the beautiful friends we have made in this industry. I wouldn’t change it for the world. Couldn’t agree more with those 4 points..always have to keep looking forward. Hope things get better. Love you!!! xoxo Missy

  18. Ashley says:

    This has been a common theme that keeps coming up in conversations and in things I’ve been reading in the last week, which has helped me a lot because I have totally been in a life rut as well. I think letting ourselves be vulnerable in friendships to talk about these things is key to getting the support we need and reminding each other that NO ONE has it all figured out, despite what it might look like on social media. I am working hard on not comparing myself to others too, but it’s hard! I think the thing that helps me the most is taking time each day/week to really ground myself, spend time with people I’m closest to, and really process the things I’m thankful for. Really love this real life kind of post and excited that you’ll be doing more!

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